the bank statement is in...

have you ever seen something in the store, that you loved? but for whatever reason you did not purchase it right then and there? maybe it was too expensive, maybe you didn't feel like standing in line to pay for it, maybe your feet hurt and you were ready to get home, maybe it was just too expensive...or, perhaps your husband called just as you were walking up to the register and you thought that was a sign, or maybe you got distracted and forgot, or... was it just too expensive? for whatever reason, you got in your car, went home and then it hit you like a ton of bricks... you were not going to be able to live without it! you lay up at night thinking about it, and how it was so right for you. just kicking yourself for not getting it. vowing to yourself that when you return, and you see that big red 50% off sticker on it, that baby was yours!!!
well, that describes me to a T! for some silly reason i end up coming home and obsessing over a certain item that i held, touched, caressed, but didn't buy! the most recent was a purse. i saw a manikin ( i have no idea if that is how you spell that, but it isn't underlining it in red, so we will go w/ it ) holding the cutest purse. i had to go over, she let me try it on, and it looked good! i took a glimpse down at the price tag trying not to offend her, and knew right then, why it was hers and not mine! then i continued on with my shopping. a few weeks later, i returned and she still had that darn thing and this time she was calling my name! so at first i just walked past her, admiring her darling purse from a distance. but the call got louder, one i could not ignore... so i again slipped it off her arm, this time i walked around with it. i even took it to a price scanner, just to make sure that it didn't get overlooked while they were marking all the others down. i went to the purse section and found none that were close to resembling this purse, it was like my manikin friend was holding on to it just for me. but once again, i gave it back to her. on the way up her arm, i felt her shoulder fall out of socket, so now my purse hung, along with her arm, and as i walked away, i glanced back and thought, gosh... even with a broke arm, she looks great holding that purse!
weeks had past, but my heart and shoulder felt so empty. i was longing to smell the leather, to slip my hand into a clean and well organized silk lined bag. but all i had was my old purse, that was faded, and full of gum wrappers and crumbs of something i didn't recognize...
i am not one to spend money with out justifying why i feel the purchase is necessary. i love hunting down great deals, it makes me feel so smart and savvy and like i out played the rest of the consumers and i was the winner! so this is why that purse made me crazy, there was no logic behind paying that much for a bag that will one day become full of dried food remnants!
but you all know me by now... i love being in style, but not THE style. i like to be unique and have my own individual style. i have longed for a coach, and even had my husband convinced that it was a good purchase, but yet did not want to have the same purse that everyone else had. so for two years now i keep going to my "purse box" and pulling out a new, old purse and giving it a chance at life again. but this purse, this purse has such style, such cute and unique style of it's own..

well, weeks later, i felt the pull when i walked through the mall doors, my friend, she was calling me... come look, it is still here... and my arm is much better thanks for asking! i ignored her, walked briskly right on past! did my shopping, and had to pass her one last time as i departed. then... out of no where, i stopped, took the purse gently off her arm, and ran like a crazy woman to the check out! my heart was racing as i paid. i took the bag from the clerk and high tailed it out of there, got to my car, threw the bag in the back seat and tried to calm down! i felt all giggly, this rush was coming down, it felt as though i had stolen something... like my manikin friend wasn't ready to part with her adorable, one of a kind, only one in the store purse, and i took it from her... and now it is mine and i am the unique one, and the one on the forefront of style and let me tell you my friend, it looks good, and the smell...oh....the smell!!!